Week Ten - 10-16 March--- ENJOY BUT BEWARE!

ENJOY BUT BEWARE
I actually started putting my four year old son to bed on WEEK 10 rather than thinking about sneaking off to my office for a last minute/pre-bed dip. Can you imagine I've been forsaking the opportunity to read him a story because I had to fucking dip???

Or worse yet going in to his room and reading a story while I spit in a cup and telling him it was "daddy's juice"???

I'm sick of myself when I think back on this. To be honest this was the first week where I actually began to ENJOY myself.

Yeah, it still hurt but I really fucking enjoyed having the ability to not dip or worry about it anymore.

I got back into doing some exercise this week. I normally do this but had been feeling like shit (wonder why and thank you very much for nic bitch). I enjoyed it.

I did feel better. My teeth and mouth felt LOTS better. I enjoyed being healthy again.

I was still searching for a job but felt good about spending time with my family.

Maybe I can do this. Still had my doubts though. But it was'nt going to stop me.

I believe it was this week that I actually connected to some of the boys from Colorado. That's where I'm from and it was good to get some personal stories from them. Keep enjoying and focusing on your community.

Begin to ENJOY your liberation from addiction. But beware because the nic bitch can come down hard.

RULE FOR WEEK #10: ENJOY yourself, your family, your health and your place in life but beware and keep your guard up. You are hopefully doing this for noone but YOU so ENJOY IT!!

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Highlights/Post and thoughts for that week:

Tfurrh

We were always checking in on each other. We lost Chanilla this week to a Cave I believe
Posted: Mar 10, 2009, 3:27 pm
Chanilla needs help. Call him. pm me his #!!!

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Imaquitter

Remember I said to ENJOY BUT BEWARE
ted: Mar 10, 2009, 3:07 pm
QUOTE (ndrooster1 @ Mar 10, 2009, 12:20 pm)
QUOTE
QUOTE (tfurrh @ Mar 10, 2009, 11:23 am)
QUOTE (chanilla @ Mar 10, 2009, 11:21 am)
chanilla - 54 - My fire is out. I can't imagine if I had a game today how I wouldn't dip. I want to dip. I want to be inspired but I can't light it up again.

I know how you feel dude.....I'll be in chat for a bit if you wanna come in.

Ahhh the funk returns. You have to power through that shit my friend. I have had it several times. I have never found an easy answer but IT DOES GO AWAY. Hitting the gym was about the only thing that made me feel better (besides beating off..) but that was temporary. You have come WAY too far and have accomplished a TON. I know it is hard to be proud of yourself in times like this but rest assured, April is most certainly proud of you and since you have already posted roll today, caving is off the table. Just concentrate on getting through the next hour. After that, do it again. Stick close to here - you'll need it and we are here to help.

Rky is right Nilla..it is the funk. It hits each of us hard and at the damndest times..out of the blue. Remember - all you have is your word to yourself and to others ..whats your word worth? I was there (funk) for about a week last week or so..didn't want to post roll, had no desire to continue with this program --yet I knew I wasn't going to allow myself to cave cuz I have come too far but man I just wasn't hittin on all cylinders to make this work.. Several April Foqers helped me get through the funk as well as numerous vets and folks from other rolls. together we can help you get through this funk. that is what it is - funk..keep that in mind. Your old self and confident self will return. Just use the opportunities on this board. you can get through today -- you gotta - you gave word today already -- damn - Ha! Screwed yourself into a corner today didn't you!? Pm me if you need -- I ain't in chat but others are..use the tools Nilla..you can do it.

you want to dip? what the hell man? its like saying you want to die? the fire should be not to support some asshole at UST who dont give a fuck about nothin cept his bottom line. fuck those assholes, i aint giving them no more fucking money to kill me. Fire? Go look at ODT's operation pics. that would be enough to keep any fucking fire going. c'mon man. grow a fucking pair. otherwise, stop wasting our fucking time

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Big Brother Jack ~ Quit + 1 ... "All endeavor calls for the ability to tramp the last mile, shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil. The fight to the finish spirit is the one... characteristic we must posses if we are to face the future as finishers ." Henry David Thoreau

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WAS chewing for 25yrs. I quit forever now. I've beat drinking I have beat this. Time for the next level of my life. 100 days and counting, 1 day at a time that's all I expect. Pay it forward and no one left behind, PERIOD.

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QUOTE (Wildcat99 @ Mar 12, 2009, 5:29 pm)
QUOTE (Smokeyg @ Mar 12, 2009, 11:15 am)
QUOTE (imaquitter @ Mar 12, 2009, 8:23 am)
QUOTE (SWJ @ Mar 12, 2009, 10:08 am)
QUOTE (tfurrh @ Mar 12, 2009, 9:51am)

Hey guys. BHFIVE is in the June group now. He's having a tough time. Lets show him some support. He says he's really struggling.

PM Sent. Personal Contact Info Shared. Encouragement Laid Down.April 09 Out.

struggling? struggling? we're all struggling. but we manage. did he get any ass chewing? i didnt see any. what the fuck? so if a person caves, we say its ok and pat 'em on the back? i think not. what the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK? i came into this fight prepared. i had my gum and seeds. and when those were not enough, i got some smc. but i did not falter in my ever going quest to be quit. it is good that he's back in june, but FUCK!!! sombitch shoulda just slammed his nuts in a drawer or something. ok, im done

A pat on the back is the biggest disservice you can do a caver and yourself. "It's OK buddy; you just keep on trying...." I see a quitter's cave as an opportunity to build my own accountability. Hand out some shit and you'll think twice before caving yourself. Avoid the wrath at all costs - just make sure the wrath is waiting on the wing. I couldn't live my hypocrisy if I ever put that shit in my system again. Fuck cancer. It would destroy my self-respect.

Welcome back smoke-stack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bout time ur punk ass came back in with your ma and pa beef jerky.

you're absolutely right smokey the poles, if a person bitches about something then does the exact opposite, then he is a fucking hypocrite. ive made this promise to myself everyday for the last 70+ days, ive stuck to my guns so far. and another thing, i agree. seeing someone who happens to falter on their journey, only strengthens my resolve. i hope bee hive makes it this time. fool me once..... hopefully never a hypocrite