Week One - 6-12 January 2009--- COMMITTMENT

Getting to Know the Nic Bitch
My 1st Post on 6 January 2009 -
TCOPE - Day 1 ----Signing in today for the first time. Time to quit. Have not had a dip all day today. How do you do this roll call thing? TCOPE

With those feeble words I began my journey to quit. What got me to this point was a 30+ year love affair with Copenhagen tobacco. My latest trip to the dentist yesterday was not pleasant with teeth all screwed up and gums in bad shape. I threw out my cans on the way home. My inlaws had been visiting and were leaving on this day. God, I needed a dip.
My son also celebrated his 4th birthday this week on 3 January. I should have quit on that day but needed one more can to get me through. How pathetic.

My 1st week was filled with anger, stress, triggers, and depression. Every thing I did, I did for the first time without nicotine/tobacco. It was a revelation.

That week I also did a 800 mile road trip as well all alone!!! My god, if I didn't cave during that then I thought maybe I can do this!

Week One for me is about COMMITTMENT. If you can't commit to yourself and the people here then come back at another time. It's going to hurt but this committment will save your life. Oh yeah, one other thing. Start keeping some notes or a diary about your quit. It helps and when it comes time to write your HOF guess what? You'll be ready!

RULE FOR WEEK #1: You better be prepared to COMMIT more deeply than you have ever done in your life. If you're not ready then go die.
POST ONE DAY AND ONLY ONE DAY AT A TIME. FOREVER WILL TAKE CARE OF ITSELF _______________________________________________________________
Highlights/Posts and thoughts for the week to include your posts:
TCOPE - Day 2 Going to bed. Day 2 worse than day 1 for sure. Lots of triggers (needed to go outside and do some work in the yard). Still I held out. Tobacco free for two days. Good night.
8 Jan
TCOPE - Day 3 - Another quit day for me too. I've got a long drive today which will be a huge trigger but I'll get through.

My Intro that I posted
I'm not so internet savvy and am just learning the workings of this site. Found this intro site and although I quit 10 days ago I never posted anything. Thought I'd rectify that. Here's the details:- 46 years old and been dipping since I was 14- Had about 3 decent quits in my life but none of them lasted:
1. Ranger School 1988 - Forbidden and I went 58 days without. Got back on immediately after
2. Graduate school in London, England - You can't buy Cope in EuropeUsed to go to the U.s. Embassy store and buy it there
3. July 2006 - First self imposed quit. Lasted 20 days or so.This time I will quit. My dentist said I'm all fucked up. I have periodontal disease and will now be treated for that. So far no cancer but it's not confirmed.Dip was with me all my life. Single, married, with children. It is probably the oldest "friend" I have. But no longer.....I'm done and that's the story in a very short version that all you guys can and have repeated around the globe.I'm quit

And much more importantly are those posts that helped me that week:

7 Jan from Loot
One day you’ll get it. It took most of us a long time…many years in fact, before we had our “moment of clarity”. For most of us, it was finding a stupid website of all things. Realizing we were not alone. Accepting the fact that we were addicts and that we needed help because we were not strong enough to do it alone.It astonishes LOOT every single time someone here caves after having been exposed to this site for extended periods of time. You didn’t use the site. You may have understood… but ya just couldn’t fucking buy in to the whole accountability thing huh? People, total fucking strangers, bend over backwards to keep you clean. They offer phone numbers, e-mail addys, etc. and ya still don’t fucking get it.

LOOT is 1300+ days clean. LOOT has been through hell over this shit too. LOOT has been in a position to want to throw it all away when the price seemed to high…many times. The only thing that has pulled LOOT’s ass from certain death is the fact that he’s made a select few people a promise. A promise LOOT could never keep to his wife, his sons, and worse…LOOT’s own self. And LOOT expects the same in return from them…and they goddamned know it too. That’s the whole premise of roll call. 100 days seems like an eternity sitting at 7. But…in reality, 100 days ain’t shit. This is a life sentence we all handed ourselves. Try and blame others if you want to…perpetrate that fraud…but it’s bullshit. LOOT doesn’t know what else to say except some quality time in the Welcome Center is warranted for you newbs. Make sure you understand the level of commitment people are putting into your sorry ass every time they sign roll with you.

It’s time consuming and fucking draining…mentally and emotionally draining to know you’ve wasted your fucking time.LOOT’s about certain most of you fucks have quit reading by now…for those that haven’t…read it a fucking gain until you have your moment of clarity. It’s really pretty fucking simple. We can’t do it for you, but we can help you do it…only if you let us though.*LOOT hangs his fuckin head, shaking that big sumbitch side to side*You fuckin had it too man…you fuckin had it. Right in front of you.


7 Jan
Sweenz - 258 - "Ultimately, we are all dead men. Sadly, we can't chose how but we can chose how we meet that end." My end will come without my face rotting off. How about you?

Posted: Jan 7, 2009, 8:58 am
If I may suggest something to occupy the time and unbridaled rage you may experience today. Have a co-worker or close family member kick you in the balls at 15 minute intervals. That should be just about enough time between blows for you to catch your breath and realize you never want to experience that again. Kind of like quitting. The first 3 or 4 days suck. Then you get to un-fuck what dip has done to your mind and never have to experience day 1 thru 4 again. You have made a fantastic decision and your lives will get better soon. If you need any help, send me a PM and my number is yours. Congrats! This post has been edited by ksweeney3 on Jan 7, 2009, 8:59 am

I truly had never seen a girl that dipped snuff and I come from backwoods WV. Christ, she wasn't bad looking either!! Melanie where did you go????

Loot best sums it up below:
Loot digs chicks with handcuffs
guns are cool too
badges ROCK!
look for a PM



Posted: Jan 9, 2009, 9:29 am
I JUST READ THE FOLLOWING IN SWEENZ' HOF SPEECH. IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD, I JUST HAD TO PASTE IT ELSEWHERE. IT'S ALMOST CHURCHILLIAN. AT LUNCH I'M GONNA GO BUY A CASE OF SPRAYPAINT AND FIND ME SOME HIGHWAY OVERPASSES. PURE GENIUS:

"We have the right to watch our children grow and have earned the right to participate in their lives. We will not be denied. Success can be our only option now. We can never tire, give up, fail, or falter. We are worth more than this addiction and will stop at nothing to beat it."
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Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

QUOTE (ksweeney3 @ Jan 9, 2009, 9:29 am)
QUOTE (TCOPE @ Jan 9, 2009, 11:19 am)
QUOTE (rkymtnman @ Jan 9, 2009, 9:13 am)
QUOTE (TCOPE @ Jan 9, 2009, 7:32 am)
Man, I was feeling pretty cocky about 4 days without dip when I read that this misery is still there at 89 days and causes a cave. Christ - I can't believe how strong this shit is. Mike, hang in there.
I was right there as well TCOPE - then came days 12-14 and a funk I can't possibly describe. Get a plan ready because it almost cost me my quit since I had no plan - that issue has been fixed thanks to the awesome support of this board.
Hmmm..... What type of plan did you put together? Right now I've been stocked up on the fake shit but ultimately need to back away from that too.

TCOPE
A plan for when the going gets tough can be something similar to:Crave comes: Insert seeds/gum/candy etc into your grill and tell crave to fuck offCrave persists: come to KTC and read, and look at cancer pics and tell crave to fuck off (If you posted roll already, you can't go back on your word)Crave persists: go into chat and/or call quit brothers and ask for permission to cave (Likely your plan will stop here) Also tell crave to fuck offCrave persists: print out the contract to cave and sign it while telling crave to fuck off.Crave persists: stare down your family and friends and let them know you are a useless piece of shit that is going to make them suffer while telling crave to fuck off. Crave persists still: Slam your nuts in a drawer while telling crave to fuck off.You don't have to do it exactly this way but having multiple steps and layers of defense can help insure you stay quit in a bad situation.

Wildcat 99

Trying to post this from my blackberry... We'll see if it works. I'm showing day 7 that I'm in control of this muther trucker!!! Just got to the airport and have a bit of a wait. The dude I am sitting next to us balls deep in a fat ass chew. I'm balls deep in some Hubba bubba!! Quien es su papa nic bitch???


Tfurrh
Posted: Jan 8, 2009, 9:03 am
QUOTE (rkymtnman @ Jan 8, 2009, 8:00 am)
QUOTE (edromero @ Jan 8, 2009, 7:56 am)
is your screen name short for "ricki martin man"?
I do love those boy bands. You caught me.
make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain........livin' la vida loca

QUOTE (jpine @ Jan 8, 2009, 7:55 am)
QUOTE (rkymtnman @ Jan 8, 2009, 8:54 am)
rkymtnman - 15 - the FUNK SUCKS
if you do this right you only have to do it once. 15 days is awesome. great job


Rooster
Posted: Jan 9, 2009, 5:16 pm
QUOTE
Yeah................................I know I won't dip. It doesn't take away from me wanting it thoughI just wish there was something just as easy to take its place. but there's nothing
My dad once told me if you put wishes in one hand and shit in the other - which will you have more of? Wishes get you no where and shit stinks so a person has to make a real choice as to what you want and what are you actually going to do to attain that goal? Walk the walk. We ALL CRAVE it, but none of us on this board "want it" or else we wouldn't be here -- the tough part is being man (or woman) enough to crave and want freedom from the nic bitch more. Your right - there ain't nothing "out there" to take its place -- the easy part was getting hooked on the shit. I am 34 years of battling these craves - all of my adult life and then some. Together we can kick it. Stay with the the thought - your freedom is worth more than this trial! Rooster



kd4jet
Posted: Jan 10, 2009, 12:55 pm
QUOTE (bhfive @ Jan 10, 2009, 10:42 am)
About how many days until I stop reaching in my pocket for a can that is not there?

I think but i'm not sure it's the day after they kick dirt in your face !
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I am the sum and total of all my life experiences and it's lessons !Quit Date 07/25/2008HOF Date 11/01/2008




Posted: Jan 12, 2009, 11:13 am
QUOTE (ksweeney3 @ Jan 12, 2009, 6:57 am)
QUOTE (NKT @ Jan 12, 2009, 5:06 am)
NKT - Day 1 - no nicotine for me today
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. It will require hard work, determination, focus, blood, sweat, and tears. But when you think about it what good things in life don't?

Sex.