On 20 May 2010, I will have been quit 500 days. As I was sitting around I thought I'd write my thoughts down about how I feel at this period in my addiction and quit....
To be honest I feel great... I will admit that from time to time tobacco comes nibbling at my thoughts and I suppose that will always be the case. I guess you never become "un-addicted" but this is so much better than even at 400 days.
During the early part of my quit I used Smokey Mountain pretty extensively. From time to time I still do. I guess it's the enjoyment of something in my mouth and spitting but for whatever reason I still imbide from time to time. However I have explicit rules on its use.
1. Never around family----
2. Don't carry it around outside the house
3. Limit use to my office and in front of the computer and sometimes gardening.
But this usage is almost hilarious cause I know I don't even need it and most of the time I even forget to do it!.
Forget to do it, you say??? Yes, there are times that I "forget" to do it. It's funny shit. Let me give you an example.....
Every morning when I wake up at 4am I turn on my computer and check email, read some blogs/news, and plan my day. That USED to be prime dipping time. Family was still asleep and I'd cram enough copenhagen into my mouth to kill fourteen korean families.
Well some mornings now I wake up and think, hmmm..... i'll have a smokey mountain while I check email. I go in to my office and start checking email. I then start checking out the bike blogs and news.... next thing I know it's 6:30am and I hear my wife up. I go downstairs and make coffee and it hits me: I never put a Smokey dip in......... I totally forgot to.....
That blows my mind.... Remember when we were using? Do you think I'd forgotten to put a dip in then??? Shit when I woke up in the morning I needed my FIX NOW!!!!!!! If you got in my way from the bedroom to the office where I kept the stash I would have knocked your head off with a patented TCOPE elbow slash. Hold that thought a moment cause I just actually wrote a cool rhyme that could be adapted for rapping and land me a record deal:
"Out of my way bitch cause I need my stash...
If you don't move back you'll get an elbow slash...."
Ahem......
Anyway, back to the story. Honestly now at 500 days I can say that I have no craves or desires really anymore. Just some memories perhaps.
In the past 300 days or so I've become more involved with the site as well. Back from the old days I maintained a spreadsheet with over 300 quitters names/quit dates/HOF dates/projected dates to hit milestones out thru 5 years.
I try and send a note to everyone as they hit these milestones. My spreadsheet has conditional formatting so all the milestones show up in yellow and I just open it up in the morning and send out some notes. I'm still the geek.
I also try to post in all the newbie groups and some of the vet groups. It takes some time and if I'm traveling then I can't really do this every day but I try....... I've had to really back off posting in all the vet groups because I just don't have the time.
One thing I do is post everyday in my group. I really feel this group is special. I suppose everyone says that but we've got a lot of really good guys that are smart, mature and committed to the group. I enjoy seeing them post up everyday and to this day they sustain my quit......
On the topic of posting. If there's any newbies out there listening, I'll say that posting is the most important thing in your quit. I'm not the only one to think this obviously but don't forget TCOPE told you so....
On the topic of another thing: Sticking around the site.
As I move past 500 days I also have no plans to leave the site.
I do not need the site anymore for staying quit.
However, I stay here for 3 things that I enjoy and also, I think, help my quit
1. I enjoy my group and these fine men.
2. I enjoy helping out others and seeing guys give up this shit.
3. I enjoy the outside friendships that have developed.
Take a walk down memory lane now with the FOQers. Cue rap song above for serenity.
Remember back when we all hit HOF. At that point there were many (and I was one of them) that said I won't feel good about my quit till ONE YEAR. Well that came and went and to be honest it still didn't feel rock solid to me. I mean I was certainly well quit at one year but there were still some nagging thoughts.
With that said I think I'm declaring my quit officially solid at 500 days. I know in my mind that I won't make a mistake to damage what I've accomplished. I don't think of it, I don't crave it and that is what makes me feel good.
So that's it.... no revelations or anything. Just a good solid quit at 500 days..
TCOPE/Todd
To be honest I feel great... I will admit that from time to time tobacco comes nibbling at my thoughts and I suppose that will always be the case. I guess you never become "un-addicted" but this is so much better than even at 400 days.
During the early part of my quit I used Smokey Mountain pretty extensively. From time to time I still do. I guess it's the enjoyment of something in my mouth and spitting but for whatever reason I still imbide from time to time. However I have explicit rules on its use.
1. Never around family----
2. Don't carry it around outside the house
3. Limit use to my office and in front of the computer and sometimes gardening.
But this usage is almost hilarious cause I know I don't even need it and most of the time I even forget to do it!.
Forget to do it, you say??? Yes, there are times that I "forget" to do it. It's funny shit. Let me give you an example.....
Every morning when I wake up at 4am I turn on my computer and check email, read some blogs/news, and plan my day. That USED to be prime dipping time. Family was still asleep and I'd cram enough copenhagen into my mouth to kill fourteen korean families.
Well some mornings now I wake up and think, hmmm..... i'll have a smokey mountain while I check email. I go in to my office and start checking email. I then start checking out the bike blogs and news.... next thing I know it's 6:30am and I hear my wife up. I go downstairs and make coffee and it hits me: I never put a Smokey dip in......... I totally forgot to.....
That blows my mind.... Remember when we were using? Do you think I'd forgotten to put a dip in then??? Shit when I woke up in the morning I needed my FIX NOW!!!!!!! If you got in my way from the bedroom to the office where I kept the stash I would have knocked your head off with a patented TCOPE elbow slash. Hold that thought a moment cause I just actually wrote a cool rhyme that could be adapted for rapping and land me a record deal:
"Out of my way bitch cause I need my stash...
If you don't move back you'll get an elbow slash...."
Ahem......
Anyway, back to the story. Honestly now at 500 days I can say that I have no craves or desires really anymore. Just some memories perhaps.
In the past 300 days or so I've become more involved with the site as well. Back from the old days I maintained a spreadsheet with over 300 quitters names/quit dates/HOF dates/projected dates to hit milestones out thru 5 years.
I try and send a note to everyone as they hit these milestones. My spreadsheet has conditional formatting so all the milestones show up in yellow and I just open it up in the morning and send out some notes. I'm still the geek.
I also try to post in all the newbie groups and some of the vet groups. It takes some time and if I'm traveling then I can't really do this every day but I try....... I've had to really back off posting in all the vet groups because I just don't have the time.
One thing I do is post everyday in my group. I really feel this group is special. I suppose everyone says that but we've got a lot of really good guys that are smart, mature and committed to the group. I enjoy seeing them post up everyday and to this day they sustain my quit......
On the topic of posting. If there's any newbies out there listening, I'll say that posting is the most important thing in your quit. I'm not the only one to think this obviously but don't forget TCOPE told you so....
On the topic of another thing: Sticking around the site.
As I move past 500 days I also have no plans to leave the site.
I do not need the site anymore for staying quit.
However, I stay here for 3 things that I enjoy and also, I think, help my quit
1. I enjoy my group and these fine men.
2. I enjoy helping out others and seeing guys give up this shit.
3. I enjoy the outside friendships that have developed.
Take a walk down memory lane now with the FOQers. Cue rap song above for serenity.
Remember back when we all hit HOF. At that point there were many (and I was one of them) that said I won't feel good about my quit till ONE YEAR. Well that came and went and to be honest it still didn't feel rock solid to me. I mean I was certainly well quit at one year but there were still some nagging thoughts.
With that said I think I'm declaring my quit officially solid at 500 days. I know in my mind that I won't make a mistake to damage what I've accomplished. I don't think of it, I don't crave it and that is what makes me feel good.
So that's it.... no revelations or anything. Just a good solid quit at 500 days..
TCOPE/Todd
It does my heart good to hear that the quit is even better at 500 days --tom h
ReplyDeleteKnowing what's coming, what to expect, has been an important part of my own success. We fail those that follow if we don't relay what we see from our vantage point. Nice post, TCOPE.
ReplyDelete